Every betrayal and every deception slowly and gradually replaced my hope of living. Every taunt and every scolding added infinitely to the pain in my brain and took the urge to die as well.
This state of mind is where there is no hope of living or dying, doing or not doing, being productive, or not being productive. Chronically living waiting for the day of death.
Call it whatever you may, but the urge to do things, being so-called productive or not, is a distance thought.
Daily, hourly, I want to tell others how I feel, what I feel about me, and how I have no clue of how to do anything. Confusion and hopelessness rule the mind.
I breathe, I wake up, and then I stall. The questioning eyes talk to myself and ask what now man?
The ringing in my ears, the depth of my own helplessness, the fear of being still alive to see some more betrayals and deciets has paralyzed me.
I am oppressed, chronically, and deliberately let down, put down, abused, used, and encaged by everybody for their own agendas.
Good for you all. Now I am brain-dead
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Life 